Red Fades into Blue
by anti-viper
Summary: For ten years she has sailed to the cave, knowing very well what she will find each and every time. And as much as it hurts, and as cruel as life is, she cannot help but be drawn toward that beautiful red, a color she once despised, then loved, and now can only weep for.


_You know what you just absolutely have to write something, and just get at it regardless of circumstance? That's how this fic happened (it is no easy task for a person, let alone an idea, to convince me to wake up after only 5 hours of sleep in summer). More later on the conception and weird coincidences that led to me writing this._

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**Red Fades into Blue**

For four months of Mia's life, red had unequivocally become her favorite color. Serene pulses of passion and gentles waves of warmth that she had once viewed as raw anger and malice had been revealed to her so effortlessly, so beautifully. She missed that feeling, the ability to see the color red in its totality. Such an odd sensation, to discover something wonderful you never really took the time to appreciate, only to have it ripped away immediately after.

Mia had feared it would revert back to the way she had once viewed it, had feared that something to be adored would be loathed by her. Instead, it sat on a precipice. When she saw it now, it brought the blue to her eyes, leaving her in tears. If she glanced over that clever color, she could avoid the feelings of bittersweet heart ache and the asking of "what if?", but if her eyes were foolish enough to linger…

Healing had become hard, because that damned, that wonderful color seeped into every aspect of it, in the very blood of her patients. Was it not enough that red had been stolen from her and pinned to that infernal wall, but it also had to bitter her true calling, healing?

She tried to drown herself in blue, and while it was her color, and loved it so, it wasn't the same as red had been. Nothing ever would be. And yet… there were times when she could see it. It wasn't as often as she liked, and it wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

Getting to the island was difficult enough; she preferred having Piers take her, because while it hadn't exactly been easy for him, he had taken it the best. Isaac was silent enough that generally, his sadness didn't add onto hers, but then again he could barely sail. Felix… was frequently the most available option, but by far the worst. Their melancholy and heartbreak melded effortlessly, without words or even eye contact. And while in some ways, solidarity was nice, Felix was much too broken to deserve to feel an ounce of her own sadness.

Mia had never once been question by either of the three why she wished to travel there, to the Sea of Time Islet, but she fancied both Piers and Felix knew. Felix simply because their grief was so similar, and Piers because the Lemurian would always give her the saddest smile just before she entered the cave.

And taking the time to visit so often, as it made her heart rend to stay away for longer than a season, was very strenuous. Five years in Imil and then five more in Vale had come and gone like the tide. There were other complications (convincing the rest of the party to let her keep the Teleport Lapis had not been simple), but they mattered not.

She found ironies abound on the journeys to the island; sailing across an ocean of blue, just to see the only stroke of red that she could truly witness; how she was so clearly blue, yet red dwelled within her as well; how something so painful to behold entranced her so.

Piers was the only one of them who would stay outside when she went in. If it was Felix, Mia would remain silent most of the time, occasionally asking for food or aid on the ship and then awkwardly standing next to Felix as their hands grasped the Lapis. Isaac would hold her hand, he and Mia having found some solace in each other over the years, and that was comforting.

When they reached that fateful, ornate room, after hallway upon hallway upon hallway, she would sit for hours upon end; she wondered, as she made her way there now with Isaac in tow, whether she had ever stared for over a day. The thought was outlandish, but possible. Isaac would stay for quite awhile, before realizing the meaninglessness of the very action he had spent a week preparing for, and leaving once his emotions threatened to overcome him. Felix never lasted long, and though they were as silent as the biting emptiness of the cave and its end room, she could feel the drops of blue pour from his eyes when he turned and slowly left them alone.

The streak of red prevailed, perhaps simply because Mia, Isaac and Felix were there so often to gaze upon it. It was faded, but even upon its conception the blood-stain had always been subdued, as was now the body that had left it. Sometimes, to view it better, she would light torches, but she found her eyes had grown to adjust nearly immediately after the first few years.

Mia had no desire to truly prove that she was going insane by having a conversation with a streak of blood, but she couldn't help but introduce herself when she entered and took her place on one of the only rocks in the cave's furthermost room. "Hello, Jenna," She would whisper quietly, and that would be enough. Surely, if the girl with the auburn hair was able to hear Mia, that was enough to get her attention.

And then, Mia would sit, and stare. Sometimes, she saw the bloodstain, but often it was replaced by the image of a body, pierced into the wall by a colossal sword. The crumpled form's arms hung out almost like wings, and sometimes even in her imagination Mia could not make Jenna raise her face, as much as she wanted her to. Instead, her love's eyes would stare distantly at the ground, the slightest drip of red flowing from the side of her mouth.

Red. Such beautiful red, gone. Such beautiful red, only survived by a mockery of blood haphazardly tainting a wall. So unfair, so cruel. It broke Mia every time she came, but she loved the color so, now, and couldn't bear to forget its true hue, and the girl who had embodied it.

It had been so easy to fall in love with Jenna, so easy Mia honestly couldn't remember if she had noticed it happening. So alive, so beautiful, so fiery. So red, the opposite of Mia in every way, but in her mind all the more fantastic for it. After Contigo and Jupiter, it hadn't taken long for them to grow close, and looking back, she saw slivers, small moments where the truth had been obvious.

Mia had been too enthralled or too nervous to take those opportunities, and she couldn't help but regret that fact. But Jenna had, even if Mia could only remember those moments in memory. Those bright smiles that held just a bit more than friendship, those innocent hugs that lasted a second too long but nowhere near long enough.

That was Jenna, incarnate, outgoing, always trying to do more. It intrigued Mia, having spent her entire life following rules and going with the flow, as her element dictated. And sometimes, it was more than intrigue, instead sheer amazement. Jenna danced when she battled, twirling like a flaming ballerina of death, wielding her rapier with unequaled grace. Leave it to Jenna to turn the most gruesome of things, combat, into true beauty. And Jenna always wanted to explore the last nook or cranny in the dungeon, to stop by the small island, to try out the new weapon for curiosity's sake.

It had been Jenna's idea, after all. To go treasure hunting. Everyone could tell that, after so many years of relative isolation, Jenna had finally found a new family in their party; and though her true one had waited for her in the camps at Vale, whenever the disbanding of the party was mentioned, she had grown uncharacteristically quiet. She had loved the party perhaps more than any of them had, and that's why it was so painful that it had been her.

Jenna had dazzled the rusty, green knight for nearly the entire battle. It wasn't fair. Sentinel had been nay one hit away from his demise, his armor cracking and the ghoulish glow in his eyes seemingly moments from dissipation. It wasn't fair. Jenna should have been faster, she had been so quick the entire time, it had only been a lucky blow thrown in desperation. It wasn't fair.

_Silence, eyes turn in disbelief. Mia's heart quivered and the impossible stared her down as if to invite her to deny its truth. There was Jenna, pierced to the wall. Words escaped her as her red slowly leaked from her body, as she slowly eroded._

Her eyes had found Mia, then. A bright, warm smile had lit her face, as red and blue had touched. So much had rushed into Mia… confessions she hadn't even know she had been meticulously planning in her mind, pain, so much pain, and harsh realization. They would never mix, now. As Jenna's eyes had grown cold, as her red had faded, Mia's eyes had poured streams of tears and she had wondered whose heart had bled more, Jenna's or her own.

She wanted those four months back. No, she wanted the ten years that had passed by so quickly, and wanted to spend them with her. To feel the heat Jenna possessed pressed against her own skin, for their lips to meet. Not to stare at a bitter requiem, thinking of what might have been.

The fading look of life, the last smile Jenna had given, had held so much love. Mia had, for a year, hated herself for never letting the young girl from Vale know her feelings, but looking back, she had realized that Jenna knew. That had been that smile: Jenna saying that she knew, and that she loved Mia too.

Somehow, Mia's love-torn thoughts were, oddly enough, only quelled when she sat and stared at Jenna's final resting place. It was only here that she could truly picture her love's brilliant reds: her crimson highs, her auburn lows, her ruby in-betweens. Such beautiful colors, such delicate and nameless shades, all placed within Jenna's smile. All gone to her, save for these moments.

Today, Isaac stood beside her, and Mia could tell his heart was heavy today. While he had never explicitly said it, Mia knew that he had loved Jenna too. This was the first time in two years that Isaac had been the one to take her to visit, and she wondered how the Venus Adept was taking it. She had resolved to ask Piers to take her more often, since he, mostly, left her alone and understood her feelings the best.

Isaac and Mia were teetering on the brink of marriage, but somehow she felt that doing such a thing would require her to give up her seasonal visits to Jenna, something she couldn't bear to do. Mia knew Jenna would want her to do it, and believed that, as broken as she remained over Jenna's death herself, Mia could help heal Isaac. The ten years had been as unkind to him, and she owed it to him to try her best to coax him out of his pain.

Mia hadn't built a life, and didn't really want to. The life she had desired was gone, after all, and nothing would ever really replace it. She had considered building a house on the island, or living in the cave, but had dimly realized over time that doing so would only lead to her living in complete misery. Mia needed to see Jenna's last imprint on the world (rather than the cold gray of her grave), to keep the beauty of her red fresh in her own mind. But, if she did so every day, she feared the color would fade, and nothing could make her sadder than that.

"About ready?" Isaac asked, having approached without her even noticing. She chuckled bitterly at that, as she must have been buried quite deep in her thoughts to not notice the echoes made by his feet down the long hallways. He had gone to the ship a few hours ago while she had stayed. Usually, she tended to speed things up for Isaac, sensing the pain that coming to this place brought him, but today she had grown into a trance, and had lost track of time.

"No, but I will leave when you want me to," She replied airily, never truly able to convinced herself that she had interest in departing. Even when the pain grew too much to bear. "Just not enough time," She forced out, shaking her head. Indeed, there hadn't been enough time.

"It's really sweet of you, how loyal you are to her memory," Isaac whispered, leaning down and kissing her cheek. "I try too, but… it's hard. I want to move on."

"I don't know if I can," Mia whispered. Even now, no streak of red appeared before her: instead, there was Jenna, smiling down upon her. Such a tender smile, such a understanding smile, one that asked her to leave, to not forget but to accept.

"Mia… I know you two were close, but… I don't get it. Why? Why do you come here so often?" Isaac asked, taking a seat next to her. She had expected this conversation to happen long ago, and had almost assumed it wouldn't occur at all as the years had waned. But, she had nothing to hide from Isaac. As much as Mia missed Jenna, he was a great man, and before she had learned to covet Jenna's red Mia had often hoped she might catch Isaac's eye. Mia stared at the ground for a moment before turning to face him.

It was a look she had never given him, had never given anyone, but chose to give now; a look of silent companionship. A look that held waves and waves of emotion. The look of lost love. His eyes widened for a moment, realizing what he was seeing, but Mia left no doubt in his mind. "I loved her," Mia whispered gently, speaking her feelings for the first time. Somehow the feeling was uplifting, and with a sad smile Isaac wrapped his arm around her.

"I feel foolish. I should have seen it," He muttered, clearly surprised. "I guess… I was caught up in my own despair. I loved her too, and I still can't believe that she's gone. I apologize. I never considered your feelings."

"No need to apologize. I just miss her," Mia replied, her head sinking. "I had no time, and I hate that. I only… really realized how I felt the moment she died." Mia turned to Isaac, and could see as his mind put together the pieces; a decade of traveling to the deepest part of a dark and evil cave was now justified.

"That's why I come here. I can only really remember her when I stare at her final resting place, at her place on that damned wall. And sometimes, I can see her smile. I don't want to forget her, Isaac. I don't care how much it hurts. I don't care how stupid it is. I can't forget the colors she showed me, and as soon as I leave red isn't the same whenever it catches my eye."

Isaac remained silent for a long time, before wiping tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't know, all this time, Mia," He replied, and she shook her head with a bitter giggle. Isaac; always apologizing for things he didn't do wrong. "But… she'd want us to let go. Jenna, and the red she breathed… it's everywhere in the world. She held it in her hands, she danced with it in the wind. And she gave it to us. You don't need to sit here, and stare at the blood, the red, she left behind. It's in you, and once you let this place go… maybe you'll be able to see it."

"I've wanted to do it for so long," Mia murmured, her voice weak and her eyes quivering as they stared at the red streak, so worn. As she blinked, Jenna returned, and her love seemed to guide her forward. "To remove it from the wall. To let it go."

"Did you hold it there?" Isaac asked, and she nodded.

"I think so. Maybe it was Sentinel's magic, maybe it was me," She replied, standing up and moving towards the stain. "I remember, asking you to smooth the rock his sword had gashed. I thought her red looked so much more beautiful… brushed across a flat canvas, rather than sunk into the wall."

"Do it, Mia," Isaac pleaded, and she realized that she might hold him in her hands now. That Isaac would never be able to let go himself, that he needed her help. "Please. Let her rest, let that cruel memento fade. Let's remember her not by the act that took her from us, but by the red that fills the world she left."

Mia nodded, tears blinding her vision, the red fading into blue as she raised her hands, the pale blue light of her Psynergy purging the stone of Jenna's dried blood. She blinked, and it was done. Ten years, gone. Jenna, gone. She closed her eyes, but where she expected misery, happiness came. For in her mind, she could see it. Not her red… not completely. But Jenna's smile, her sparking eyes. It soothed Mia's heart.

"This is… the worst place to do this, but I think the best time," Isaac coughed, interrupting her thoughts, and she raised an eyebrow, trying to understand what he was saying. "I couldn't really think of when to, because… you're a wonderful woman, Mia, and I love you, but we were both so hung up on her. But… now that we've accepted it, that you've accepted it…"

Distantly, Mia wondered how much Isaac's grief was not only for Jenna's death, but for her own inability to heal from it as well, but her wondering came to a sharp halt at his next words.

"Would you marry me?" The phrase struck her, but as she glanced at Isaac's smile, a sparkle below his blue eyes seemed to call to her. Her eyes fell further, an infinity passing before they came to the ring he held; a ring that sparkled with the most beautiful, the most alive, and the most wonderful red.

The ruby danced even in the cave's dim torchlight, and it was many tears and much effort before Mia could whisper, "Yes," only to repeat the word nearly a hundred times.

As she slipped the red onto her finger, and looked into Isaac's kind face, she could only smile. She had accepted, but she would never forget. She would love Isaac, but she would always love Jenna. She would keep her blue, but wear her love's red proudly on her finger, and glance at it whenever the color began to fade from her mind, until the day they met again.

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_This one has a ton of weird stories behind it, but before I get into all of them I have to apologize, as this is totally a fic written for myself. While I tried to make it accessible to other people, this was something I had to write, and I needed to write it in the way I wrote it. I will probably change some things as time goes on, but overall, the core of it can't change. It just means too much to me._

_So, to begin; I had a dream last night, one in which the plot jumped all over the place and went through many different settings and universes. After doing something involving Bioshock, my dream flashed to a moment between Mia and Jenna, where Jenna was pierced to a wall by a sword, and staring directly at Mia while smiling sadly, and showed Mia staring at Jenna with a wealth of emotions._

_That image really, really, really, really struck me. They were so obviously in love, and it was so obvious that they had barely begun to live life with each other, and it was so sad but so beautiful at the same time. I had to write it, had to expand on that moment, to make it beautiful and written._

_When I woke up, I couldn't get back to sleep, because I kept thinking about writing this. I also woke up with a song in my head, which had a lot of cool parallels to this fic, by the name of "The Blue" by David Gilmour. The one line from it that got me when I looked up the lyrics to make connections was "Still, marooned/Silence drifting through/Nowhere to choose/Just blue...", as it has both blue and (while it is not used as a color here) maroon. I found that really cool. Also worth noting is that when I went to look up a reference picture of Google Images to make sure Sentinel had a sword (lol), the first picture of him that came up was him in game with Jenna the only seeable character from the party, which I thought was just really, really awesome and spooky._

_So, long story short, I listened to said song "The Blue" (look up the lyrics, so many parallels) about twenty times straight at one point and then ten times straight another while writing this. It just… worked. Such a cool experience. I really like this fic. I feel like it has some weird parts, it is weird in itself, but I think dream images are often like that. It… really moved me. I don't think I'll ever be able to listen to that song again without every picturing Mia and Jenna._

_I typically just can't write tragedy, but I guess it was on my mind and this was the end result. I guess it sort of, in a way, has a happy ending, if slightly bittersweet. Anyway, enough ranting, thank you for reading!_


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